Monday, May 22, 2017

Trump, Putin, and Strange Bedfellows Abound



Dear president trump,

I am a liberal. I didn't vote for you, because I thought you getting elected would be a catastrophe of monumental proportions. I would like to say, here and now, without reservation, that you have proved me wrong.

A catastrophe would be a sunny walk in the park in comparison to the unmitigated Category 5 shitstorm you have unleashed.

On the campaign trail you mocked people with disabilities, incited violence at your rallies, and lied through your teeth so often that the media couldn't even keep up. Even Mike Pence, who is "a Christian first, a conservative second, and a Republican third," and who probably takes great pride in his religious convictions (which place a high value on honesty, by the way), used his soothing FM radio voice in the Vice-Presidential debate to flat out deny that you ever said that Mexicans were rapists ... even though there is a video record of you saying exactly that.

After the inauguration, you immediately setting about doing what you do best: boosting your brand, with the able assistance of your children, that syphilitic sycophant known as Steve Bannon, and truth-murderer KellyAnne Conway. And there's more:
  • You complained during the campaign that President Obama spent too much time playing golf. However, you spent more time playing golf in the first month of your term than President Obama did during the first year.
  • You complained that Obama took too many vacations. Your vacation spending in the first month equaled his for the first year, and you are on track to spend more in your first year on vacations that he did in his entire eight years on office.
  • Your wife refuses to live with you in Washington. Yes, the "official" line is that she doesn't want to take her son out of school in the middle of the year, and that is completely legitimate ... after all, almost every parent faces this same dilemma at least once. But I am willing to put hard money on the bet that, once school is over, she still doesn't go to DC. ANd not for nothing, in your numerous vacations to Mar-A-Lago, she was nowhere to be found, and not once did you attempt to go up to see her.
  • You appointed a National Security Director -- Mike Flynn -- that you had to fire a little over three weeks later because he was lying about conversations with foreign governments.
  • You fired the director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation within minutes, seemingly, of his announcement that investigations would be proceeding against you and your administration into ties with Russia.
  • You tried -- twice -- to implement a travel ban targeted against Muslims, even though this clearly violates the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment to the Constitution.

Ever since the election, you have been crafting a series of lies, outrages, and ridiculous statements at such a clip that, again, nobody can keep up ... and they are being distracted by the real damage Congress is doing to this country. To that I say, well done, sir.

You are playing the role assigned to you by Vladimir Putin and the GOP members of Congress to a T. By constantly inundating the media with a barrage of outlandish claims, bizarre accusations, and word salad that could choke every hipster in Brooklyn, you are successfully diverting attention away from the actions of an increasingly right-wing, reactionary Congress. With midnight votes, arcane rule changes, and flat-out strong-arm tactics, Mitch McConnell, Paul Ryan, and the rest of the Congressional Republicans are going about their business of ruining the lives of the vast majority of Americans -- including the ones who voted for your sorry ass.

You made a promise to "drain the swamp," yet you have been stocking it with some of the most unruly, nasty, unqualified alligators ever seen. You have nominated a Labor Secretary who is anti-labor, an EPA administrator who is anti-environment, and a Secretary of Education who is anti-public education. You have repeatedly threatened to repeal the Affordable Care Act, yet have offered no concrete proposals with which to replace it.

In fact, the only thing you said you were going to do was to build a wall along our southern border and make Mexico pay for it. And while this was ludicrous on its face, enough people bought into it to elect you.

Come 2018, be prepared for electoral homicide on a scale this country has never before witnessed. We are going to take down every Republican who supports you, every one who thinks Russia and Vladimir Putin running the show is a good idea, every representative who voted to pass that ridiculously cruel Affordable Health Care Act (and let's face it ... only one of the words in that title is true), every single one who signed on to your ridiculous message of xenophobia and hate.

Then in 2020, we're coming for you. We will not only beat you, we will humiliate you and make you completely irrelevant. Granted, your actions are making this very easy. After all, it is the rare politician indeed who can make the statement "I have just returned from a trip to the Middle East" ... while in Israel.

Enjoy it while you can, pal. We're going to put an end to you. Then, and only then, will we Make America Great Again.

Sincerely,

Everyone

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